Poetry and Pelvic Pain

My Pain, Your Pain

 

Pain is still pain

When layers are built

on top of each other

In between sadness might

Be a break with rest,

Or a break of sunshine

But pain is still there

Underneath the surface,

And deeper than the parts

I give and show to others

 

Then almost suddenly, all I see is

A self-portrait I hardly recognize

A glimpse in the mirror

When no one else is looking.

How did pain create something so great?

Were my eyes always so sad?

If you look past the smiles,

The makeup,

The face that says everything is fine.

Do you see beyond the pearls I wear,

The cute dress that looks so put together?

Can you tell there is pain behind my smile?

There is grief that could cover miles.

 

Have you seen it

When I didn’t think it was showing?

Did you catch it when I thought I fooled everyone?

You mean you heard it when I covered it up?

It seeped out when it was supposed to be silent?

 

I didn’t mean for it to pop up,

I thought I was an expert

In pretending it’s not there

But now that you’ve seen it,

I admit I feel relieved

It’s been exhausting,

Covering it for so long.

And tears are at last released.

 

Now that you’ve seen it,

Do you understand it?

You do?

You mean I’m not alone?

You have pain too?

Your pain isn’t my pain,

But it still hurts.

And it’s real.

What’s your story?

Can I help you?

Don’t worry, I understand

And knowing your pain

Somehow makes my pain

Hurt less.

 

Written By: Lindsay H

All rights reserved

Never Lose Heart in the Desert of Life

NLH pic NLH pic 2

 

Have you ever been in the desert of life where everything seemed barren? You may have felt lifeless, discouraged, unproductive, tired, weary, alone, or lost. It seems as if God has disappeared, and questions flood our minds: Didn’t God promise to “never leave us or forsake us? What went wrong? How did I get here and how can I get out?” I know it all too well.

The desert is a tough place to be, and it can certainly breed doubt, confusion and distrust in God, especially when you feel like you are trying to do the right things and don’t have much more to give. It’s easy to want to throw in the towel and go your own way.

But, the desert is a part of the life God designed for us – even Jesus spent time in the wilderness being tempted, tested, and tried. Maybe it’s a test you are going through. Maybe God is molding you and preparing you for the next season. Maybe it’s a lesson in humility or a time to examine your heart. We may not understand it at the time, but we can trust that there is always a purpose.

I spent a long time in the desert several years ago. I wanted to believe God hadn’t abandoned me and that He had a plan. I thought if I could just get my act together and be a better person, maybe then God would be pleased with me and show me the way. However, the striving got me nowhere and only left me more exhausted. Through the long journey, I began to understand that more than anything, God just wanted me to be still and “be” with Him. To be with Him is to know Him. To know Him is to know His incredible love and grace. To know His love and grace is to know true freedom and the fullness of life. It’s not about what we do for Him. It’s about receiving what He’s done for us — with no strings attached.

The desert is never meant to be permanent place. It is a sign that something grand is yet to come, if we choose to embrace it. Like running a marathon, going through the desert takes endurance and focus. We get tired and thirsty, but there is a reward if we make it to the finish line. And the outcome may be completely surprising, like Never Lose Heart was for me. I never dreamed of writing a book. It’s a product of the desert!

I admit it’s difficult to hear God’s voice in the desert. That is part of the reason it’s called the desert – you feel disconnected. It doesn’t necessarily mean that God has stopped speaking. Perhaps He wants to speak to you in new ways. It can be difficult to “be still” in this day and age, but if we can find a way to clear the clutter from our heads and listen for His gentle voice, that is where the treasure lies – the true wisdom, knowledge, and ability to let go of the lesser important things in life. Whether it’s through nature, scripture, prayer, music, art, people, or any other way, His gentle voice is the stream in the desert. Be consciously aware of what’s around you. And who knows — maybe you will see a heart!

Never lose heart.

Deuteronomy 8:2
Isaiah 43:19

Author:  Connie Smith

neverloseheart.com